Thursday, March 1, 2007

Weed, Porn, and Other Vices

Welcome to my blog.

I thought for a long time about what I was going to write about, and then I unceremoniously thought, "Fuck it." I'll write about whatever comes to mind.

I want another cigarette but I just don't have the energy to get the hell out of the desk chair and walk the fifteen feet. How the hell did I get so tired, and so old so fast? I'm probably going to die soon- or worst, simply zombie ass my way around for the next three decades until I keel over.

My city has the worst railroad crossings. How hard can it be to bridge the concepts of asphalt and iron rails? We can clone a fuckin' sheep but we can't keep my 20+ plus old piece of shit from getting airborne everytime I cross the railroad tracks at five miles an hour. Unbelievable.

I bought some John Courage a few nights ago. The stuff is stout, but for the love of God, it tastes like beer.

If you ever want to really feel sorry for the lot we're in, go visit the MSN Money Boards. I've never seen such a bunch of money grubbing whores in my whole life. They'd sell their mother's bones to buy flowers for a harlot. (I wish I'd written that last line, but alas, I stole it.) The end analysis for everything they do is how will it effect my budget? If their kid came down with cancer they'd drag the bastard around for two weeks shopping for discount chemo treatment. I think they jack off to watching their interest accrue every month. Ridiculous.

I attend a somewhat? nice school where I live. Oddly enough, I didn't know any people who regularly smoked pot before. Now that I'm at this school, I've met three. Coincidence?

By the way, if anyone can explain why alcohol is legal and weed is not, please try. When I get high, all I want to do is watch Conan O'Brien and eat Salt & Vinegar potato chips. How is that hurting the world?

I'm a Libertarian, if you haven't noticed. Which means I think people should be able to do whatever the hell they want, as long as they don't hurt other people. If you and Jane Doe want to piss on each other in your basement while a poodle bites your ear off, go ahead. Smoke a little weed afterward? Whatever. It's not my business- however, when you start doing this shit in my front yard, or on the highway, then it's my problem. That's my politics.

I'll post more later, because 99% of the people who ever make it to this site won't read this long bullshit anyway. They'll read the first two sentences and then their eyes will glaze over before they start the inevitable search for porn. Don't think I don't know, people. Don't worry, I'm coming out with the DVD version so that you can just sit there and have it jammed directly into your heads. Makes you all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it, doesn't it?

3 comments:

The Expatriate said...

Very Nice. I'm going to link you to my blog.

Anonymous said...

Hey, this isn't porn!

The Thinker said...

I could post some porn, but the only stuff I could legally post would be the freely available stuff, and believe me, there's a reason no one's claiming that shit.

Think shin hair and gout.