Politicking

Occasionally I like to turn the scope of my searing genius onto the national stage, because even I get tired of talking about local politics. Local politics, after all, is about as important as two dogs fuckin' in the backyard. You look for a second, feel a mixture of elation and shame, and then walk away. At least I do.

National politics is like elephant fuckin'. I mean, come on, you got to pull over on the side of the road and watch that shit go down.

I still can't quite believe Hillary Clinton is actually running for President. I'm a Libertarian, so in my heart I don't really care who wins, but I amazed she thinks she's electable. She might even do a good job, but that doesn't mean she'll get in.

I'm pretty sure Stephen Hawkings would make an awesome President, as he's smarter than all of us put together, but America's not going to vote for a guy with a robot voice and evil dictator wheelchair. Not in the age of television, at least.

First off, she's polarizing. People either love her or hate her. And if it's one thing Democrats don't want, it's a polarizing figure in the next election. They could almost win back the White House by drawing names out of a hat, as long as that person doesn't draw any type of ire. What I mean to say is, a random plumber from Minnesota would have a better shot for the Democrats than Hillary.

It's a natural reaction for someone who's been out of power to overreach when they first get a taste of the forbidden fruit. But that's generally a mistake. One must ease into power in national politics. They need a liberal that won't make the rednecks come out en masse simply to vote against him or her, like they did with the gay marriage ban. Did you see the lines in Florida last time? People were literally coming out of the swamps to vote against it. They want conservatives to stay home- which shouldn't be hard, since their morale is so low. Don't give them a reason to get up.

Secondly, she's a woman. At least half of the people who'd say they would vote for her are lying, and will change their vote once they get behind the curtain. I really don't see a lot of men voting a woman into office with this climate. Regardless of your feelings about the War on Terror, it's probably not good business to put in a leader who could get her ass kicked by Sea Monkeys.

Democrats, if you want to win the White House, do the following:

Obama is the bright light of your party. But he's too inexperienced to win the big one right now. You need to Condoleeza his ass into the Presidency over time. Have him and John Edwards (your charismatic candidate) develop a working relationship over time. Let John Edwards win the nomination, and then he picks Obama as his running mate. I really don't see how you could lose with an Edwards/Obama ticket. The son of a South Carolina mill worker running with a guy whose ancestry were slaves in South Carolina. The media (and America) would fall for it hook, line, and sinker.

Of course, they won't do that, and they'll end up running a Clinton/Farrakhan ticket to oblivion somehow. And then they'll blame the country.

I should really start doing retard summaries at the top, like CNN does, because I'm pretty sure 95% of the American populace can't read this many words without blowing out a blood vessel.

Oh well.