Icicle IV

I remember those halcyon days when life was care free and my biggest worry was running out of ideas to blog about. Cigarette smoke and gentle breezes wafted effortlessly through the myriad hallways of my magnificent brain, and I was content to let the secrets it unearthed linger innocently there for all eternity.

Oh, how the fuckin' shit hits the fan.

Icicle, our esteemed leader, gets indicted, arrested, placed on probation, hunted down with an arrest warrant, and gets subsequently placed in the Burton County Detention Center.

Wondrous. Now I'm quite seriously considering three or four Icicle blogs, an Icicle television channel, a local Icicle newspaper, an a custom-designed diamond studded series of Icicle ankle bracelets. Because, as far as I can tell, the people of Lincoln can't get enough of the Icicle news.

What's sad is that for a little while, at least, this town was a sinking ship with a crazy captain. He wasn't going to find the New World, but he probably had the sense to order someone to steer the ship if a giant flaming iceberg came out of nowhere. Now it's just wandering about, captainless. It's just a matter of time before people are out looting storefronts and refusing to pay for gas.

The optimistic part of me says that the tagline of Gladiator is right, and a hero will rise out of this to lead the city to a brighter day.

But the realistic part of me says that most of us are going to die horrible gang-related deaths.