The Porn Stops Here

Today in Burton (yet another fake name) I was working my life away when I wondered why there were so many cars parked along the street.

Apparently, there was a trial going on at the courthouse. Which out here, in the middle of damn nowhere, is somewhat of a big deal.

The bigger deal? The guy was up for possession of child pornography. They had his ass on ten counts. Ten, mother fuckers. As in he's going away for fifty years.

Which is great and all, but the point of this story is more about how much of a freakin' retard the guy is, as opposed to the efficacy of the American legal system. For some reason, the guy a) looked up the child porn on school computers, and b) rejected a plea bargain where he would have only spent five years in jail.

Dumbass.

Does he know how fast a jury will convict him? Now he's got fifty years to experience some guy named Shaw Shank his Redemption, if you catch my drift.

And I think you do.

Later, at a dinner party with a former juror present:

Partygoer: "Hey, what did you do today?"

Juror: "I helped put a pedophile behind bars for half a century."

Partygoer: "That's awesome. Can you pass the chips?"

Again, what a freakin' dumbass.