A couple of thoughts about the whole tragedy:
1. NBC News is a piece of shit for airing segments and letters from the package Cho sent them. That's what he wanted, you douchebags. Now every whackjob is gonna know he'll die in infamy if he finally decides to mow down some people. He just needs to fire up the old video camera first. They merely pay lip service to the victims, because it's the actual death that makes the news, not the lives that were lost.
For example, look at the Amish school shooting. The Amish simply forgave the shooter, and then moved on. They didn't plaster his picture everywhere. We Americans can be pretty sick fucks sometimes- we get off on our supposed revulsion to violence by talking about how much we hate it until we're blue in the face.
2. Everybody is bitching about gun control. Gun control is not the solution- creating a society where people tend to not go crazy is. He could have just as easily used a bomb or poison gas or laced the campus cafeteria's food supply.
But since I'm pretty sure we're just going to stay fucked up, here's an idea. Let's allow people over the age of 21 who pass a battery of psychological and background tests to apply for a civilian police position- basically full-time off-duty cops who get to carry a weapon. I sure as hell don't want to wait ten minutes for the cops to show up while some nutcase is spraying students and walls with lead. How many lives could have been saved if someone in the building had been carrying a firearm, been trained in its use, and had a suitably working moral compass?
Gun control doesn't work for another reason- the people who aren't supposed to have them don't care too much about the laws. So decent Americans are left without protection, and the fuckups get to run willy-nilly with the guns they buy from drug sales and smuggling rings.
3. My thoughts are with those who passed away on that campus- I hope you find some kind of peace somewhere.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Virginia Tech
Friday, March 9, 2007
Icicle Unbowed, Bitches!
Welcome to the rabbit hole, fuckers!
You remember when logic actually played a part in anything? Where shit was somewhat predictable? Where arrest warrants were actually enforced? Because I've forgotten. I've currently got a carrot shoved up my ass, and shit keeps coming out of my mouth. I'm typing this with my toes and standing on my hands. Alanis Morissette's music actually sounds palatable. I swear, it's upside down land around here.
The Magnificent Bastards vacated the arrest warrant and recused the presiding Judge. Oops.
Now, in the real world (which no longer exists) a new judge would pop up, reissue the arrest warrant- because, after all, Icicle has still violated his parole- and we'd just go on with life. But in this new world, I fully expect the new judge to give Icicle a medal before turning into a T-Rex that hands out hot meals to the rich. Icicle will then declare himself dictator and single-handedly destroy the American military solely with his sheer upper body strength, kinda like The Incredible Hulk. Only much more incredibler and hulkier.
And since we've killed Captain America, there's no one to stop him.
I truly hate you all.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Icicle IV
I remember those halcyon days when life was care free and my biggest worry was running out of ideas to blog about. Cigarette smoke and gentle breezes wafted effortlessly through the myriad hallways of my magnificent brain, and I was content to let the secrets it unearthed linger innocently there for all eternity.
Oh, how the fuckin' shit hits the fan.
Icicle, our esteemed leader, gets indicted, arrested, placed on probation, hunted down with an arrest warrant, and gets subsequently placed in the Burton County Detention Center.
Wondrous. Now I'm quite seriously considering three or four Icicle blogs, an Icicle television channel, a local Icicle newspaper, an a custom-designed diamond studded series of Icicle ankle bracelets. Because, as far as I can tell, the people of Lincoln can't get enough of the Icicle news.
What's sad is that for a little while, at least, this town was a sinking ship with a crazy captain. He wasn't going to find the New World, but he probably had the sense to order someone to steer the ship if a giant flaming iceberg came out of nowhere. Now it's just wandering about, captainless. It's just a matter of time before people are out looting storefronts and refusing to pay for gas.
The optimistic part of me says that the tagline of Gladiator is right, and a hero will rise out of this to lead the city to a brighter day.
But the realistic part of me says that most of us are going to die horrible gang-related deaths.
Friday, March 2, 2007
My Town
I live near a large city in the Southeastern United States. I shall call this city "Lincoln."
Lincoln is a dump. At one point, it used to be pretty cool- majestic and architecturally beautiful skyscrapers lined the sky. Now it's a shell.
Like a lot of larger towns in the South, there's perhaps a six to eight block radius where it's fairly safe to walk during the day. People drive into the town to work, then quickly escape before nightfall falls over the city. Because then, if you wander down the streets, you might as well just kill yourself. Because you'll be dead anyway. Strange people wander the streets, wanting to fulfill their thirst for blood. Some of them will kill you and leave your wallet stuffed with cash on the sidewalk. They're simply insane.
Or, as I like to say, Insan-O. Because it sounds funnier.
The local news ran a piece tonight about how people were moving back into South Lincoln, because the perception of crime there was overblown. A local resident was quoted as saying, "Crime can happen anywhere. It happens in Lincoln, it happens in Washington, and it happens in Jefferson."
(By the way, if you can't figure out that Washington and Jefferson aren't the real names of nearby towns, you're probably not very smart.)
Anyway, it's all bullshit. Of course crime is worse in South Lincoln. The newscaster wouldn't even do the broadcast live on a street in South Lincoln, for fear of instant death. Nor would she let her child walk down the streets of South Lincoln alone, because (hopefully) she's not a complete moron.
A local real estate site has over thirty houses for sale in Lincoln for less than $15,000. Why is that, you might ask? It's not because there's so many of them. It's because instead of insulation, they fill the walls with the bodies of dead hookers and crackheads.
Jefferson, a quickly growing bedroom community to the North of Lincoln, has recently realized that if it builds a living room, it never has to come to Lincoln. So they started building mini-skyscrapers. Which means office space. Which means all the employers in Lincoln are leaving. In a hurry. So soon, even the six to eight block radius will be a ghost town.
My prediction- in the next 5 years, Lincoln will become a sinking pothole of crime and moral decay, with Mad Max type individuals roaming the streets looking for clean drinking water and cigarettes. The streets will be littered with rusting automobile carcasses, as all the gas stations were long ago burned to the ground in the Great Riot of '09. Parentless children, mutated by the nuke that the military hit the town with in a last ditch effort to save the city, will wander around with glowing eyes and no sense of shame. Really rich people from around the country will take tours in tanks through the carnage, for the pure thrill of it. A few will die every year. TimeLife will make a few bucks off of tribute books and calendars, and then everyone will forget about it.
Either that, or it'll just completely go to hell.
But the Mad Max thing is so much cooler.
In my next post, I'll write about the Mahwongs- I think, fair reader, you'll like it.
